From the Logan Democrat of Logan, WV, comes this poem written by three young female students of Marshall College, published May 22, 1913:
Shady tree, babbling brook
Girl in hammock, reading book;
Gold curls, tiny feet,
Girl in hammock, looks so sweet;
Man rides past, big mustache,
Girl in hammock makes a “mash”.
Mash is mutual, day is set,
Man and maiden, married get.
Married now, one year ago,
Keeping house on Baxter row;
Red hot stove, beefsteak frying,
Girl got married, cooking trying.
Cheeks all burning, eyes look red,
Girl got married, nearly dead;
Biscuits burn up, beefsteak charry,
Girl got married, awful sorry,
Man comes home, tears mustache,
Mad as blazes, got no hash,
Thinks of hammock in the lane,
Wishes maiden back again,
Maiden also thinks of swing,
Wants to go back too, poor old thing.
Hour of midnight, baby squawking,
Man in sock feet bravely walking;
Baby yells on, now the other
Twin he starts up like his brother.
Paregoric by the bottle
Emptied into baby’s throttle,
Naughty tack points in air,
Waiting some one’s foot to tear,
Man in sock feet, see him there!
Holy Moses! Hear him swear!
Raving crazy, gets his gun,
Blows his head off, dead and gone.
Pretty widow, with a book,
In a hammock by the brook,
Man rides past, big mustache;
Keeps on riding, nary “mash.”
Yikes!😂