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Brandon Ray Kirk

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Heavy Heart

29 Saturday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Harts, Pearl Adkins Diary, Women's History

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Appalachia, Cora Adkins, history, inspiration, life, Lincoln County, love, Pearl Adkins, U.S. South, West Virginia, writers, writing

“My dear, dear dream boy came one evening,” Pearl wrote in May or June. “He stayed all night. After supper I was sitting on the porch. Cora was out there. My heart dearest came and sit down at my feet. He talked to Cora of first one thing then another. He changed the subject all at once and asked Cora if the doctors thought there was any chance for me ever to walk. I don’t remember the talk for I felt slighted and hurt. To think he would sit at my feet and then ask some one else about my walking powers, if there was any chance of me ever.

“Well, I spent another sleepless night for he slept in the next room. I can now see him as I write next morning at the breakfast table. I looked across the table straight into those clear but sad eyes — those eyes which sent the blood over my neck and face to burn my fevered brain. He is gone and left a heavier heart and a sadder face behind him than was there when he came. I don’t guess he ever thought of the joy he brings to a sad and lonely woman when he comes or even dreamed of such a thing that I loved him. Well, I don’t care if he ever knows. I love him just the same.”

Nobody Stays Over

20 Thursday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Harts, Pearl Adkins Diary, Women's History

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“They were all gone but Momma and Papa, the kiddies and me,” Pearl wrote in August. “I, like all the other times when alone, go to my meditation again and all the time it’s of him, and only him. I was longing for him to come with all my hungry heart, and he did come. It seems that when I want to see him right bad he is led to come by a higher power to satisfy my heart. Well, I will go on with my story. He come in as Momma called dinner. Pap said, ‘Come on.’ Mr. Nobody smiled and said, ‘It’s been a long time since I sit at your board.’ They said it had, too. I remember well that dinner as if it had been yesterday. It is written plainly in my mind, never to be blotted out as long as memory lasts. Mr. Nobody sit at one end of the table and I at the other. When I looked up from my plate and our eyes met for the first time since I had loved him, the picture he made there with the sun shining through the window on his hair made a fine picture of him. His eyes were like lurking shadows of those on a forest pool, as though thoughts of sadness are always pictured there. He isn’t satisfied no where for long at a time, for I’ve heard him say so time after time.”

“Some body had kind of a social gathering,” Pearl wrote later. “A lot of our friends came. I was so afraid he wouldn’t come but he did just as if he knew I wanted him to come. They all left here together. They were gone till about 11:30 o’clock, I guess. We hadn’t gone to bed when they came back. There was several stayed all night. I can see myself now as I was sitting tilted back in my chair with my feet upon the rungs when he come in. The lamp was on the shelf over my head and so he took a seat facing me again. If his eyes ever left my face I don’t remember it. I don’t know whether he thought I looked good or not, but there was a look in his eyes which I never seen there before.”

Mr. Nobody was among those who slept at the Adkins family home that night, giving Pearl cause for great excitement.

“That was my first night,” she wrote. “I tossed on my bed not able to sleep for the thoughts. Oh boy, it made it ten times worse him being in the next room. If he hadn’t been there it wouldn’t been quite so bad, but believe me dear reader I have spent a many a more nights tossing on my pillow, my fevered brain not able to think clearly. And it was all for the sake of my dear. I’ll call him Dear for he won’t never be any thing else to me as long as life lasts.”

Home Alone

18 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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“This has been a very nice day,” Pearl wrote on Saturday in the spring or summer. “I have been at home all day by my self. They all have been gone for the longest time. I guess I would have had to stayed the whole time by my self if it hadn’t been for a girl friend who dropped in for a few minutes chat. She has gone and I have been dreaming of my love and his sweet looks when another face broke in on my meditation and said, ‘I see [name omitted] is back again.’ I asked, ‘Where is he at?’ She said, ‘I seen him out at the store. He’s a lot better looking than he used to be.’ But I never got a glimpse of him at all.”

“Our company began to come in,” Pearl wrote the following day, a Sunday. “Cora was primping up to go out with some of them. I was laying on the bed lost in deep thoughts of my afflictions. That caused me to be so sorrowful and sad, for I couldn’t go with them. I was nursing my misery to its fullest heights when some one came in the next room. All at once a calmness came over me. I was thinking of my sweet lipped honey and wishing he was here. But I felt his presence before he entered the room. I was so astonished and dumbfounded that I couldn’t speak for several seconds when he smiled one of his smiles and said, ‘Why hello, Pearl. How are you?’ I hardly remember what I said for I was still under the shock of it all, for this was the first time I had seen him since I discovered I loved him so dearly. I know I blushed from my neck to the roots of my hair. I was so overjoyed and thankful for his return that I hardly knew what to do. Aw shucks, what could I do? I couldn’t do any thing — only lay there and smile too myself. They all left out and he stayed on. But he didn’t stay in there for long where I was, but sit in the next room nursing his misery too, I guess. But I’m not telling what it was and he wouldn’t eat no dinner and stayed till late in the evening and then was gone and left me to suffer it out by my self. No one ever guessed that I too suffered like others do. I don’t guess he ever dreamed I could love him but I do just the same and I mean that he shall know by and by.”

Love

14 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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     “Alone in my cuddy with no one near me I and my thoughts are struggling with each other,” Pearl wrote in late fall or early winter. “My thoughts have drifted off in a dream world. They have got the better of me. They keep drifting to that Nobody. In twilight hours my thoughts form swiftly of one fancy and then the other of him. They have woven a strong cord around my heart which seems never to be broken. I keep thinking of him and can’t help it. Aw shucks, he is in mind morning, noon and night. What makes me keep picturing him in my mind — his look, his ways, his talk and every thing about him — and what it all means, I can’t tell. I never thought of any one else as I do him. I can’t account for the uneasy feeling around my heart unless it is, I love him. Oh God, can it be I love him? Lord this has slipped upon me unexpected. Oh what sorrow it brought. It would have been a blessing to any one else, but to me it will eat my heart away. I guess I have loved him from urchin days but never realized it till just now. No hopes what ever of winning his love. God, what I have to suffer and why it is I can’t tell. I haven’t done any thing to any one that I would be chasened for, but God’s will be done. It’s a higher power above that controls our nature. We love whether it’s our wishes our not. I know it isn’t my will to love the one I do. It came with such a shock as if from the streaks of lightning. It shot through my weak body and unnerved me so I haven’t hardly recovered from the shock yet for it was all so strange and new and I’m not quite used to it yet.”

     “Winter passed on with her sleet and snow,” Pearl continued, perhaps in the spring. “I care but a little for the wind’s loud roar for I’m near the old fire place. I sit there sadly dreaming of my one love here no more. Aw, I dream of a bright future of happy moments I may spend with him when he returns home. My, the winter is gone before I hardly knew it for I heard every few days some thing of my Ideal man but I didn’t know he was till long after he had gone. As you know from girlhood days, I have had my Ideal for he is the one boy for me by and by. I have pictured my sweet many times — his height, his eyes, his weight, and last of all the color of his hair, but never dreamed of him being in miles of here, but when I did awaken I awoke with a shock to think I had known him a many a long day and had learned to love him very dearly before I knew it.”

     “Well, spring is here,” Pearl next wrote. “I have changed places but he is in my mind all the long spring days but I love him better each day and each day that passes I think I can’t love him any better but the dawning day brings on a stronger love than the preceding day. I guess there’s no limit to this love of mine.”

     “Spring days are slipping by as if on wings,” Pearl wrote, a little later. “The fleeter they are, the closer the summer draws nearer, the quicker I will get to see my honey for I have heard he will be here about the 26th of July.”

Nobody Comes and Goes

13 Thursday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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     “Here comes Nobody,” Pearl wrote in an undated entry. “He has gone again but not for long this time. I guess I will get to see him Friday or Saturday one. This old place is lonesome and dreary. I know I will get to see his sweet face and smiles. They are like the rays of sun shine drifting through the dark clouds (for his life seems as dark as the dark clouds).”

     “It was a cold winter night,” Pearl wrote later. “He stopped in a for a while to warm and what he said made me think he would make good some day but that hope was shattered long ago. From what I heard, he had a chance to make good his words but let it slip. But I don’t believe he done the things I heard. By hopes, I mean of him ever having any thing only as he works it out and by day labor.”

     “Well, the kid is back for a long stay this time, so I think,” Pearl wrote next. “No, oh no, I am mistaken.”

     “Well, the guy has gone to some distant city for a while but he won’t stay long,” Pearl wrote in July. “He likes his friends too well to go away finally and never return. I miss him so much and deeply regret his quick departure. Oh, I feel a sharp twinge around my heart to know it will be weeks and probably months before I see him again. Gee, how I wish he hadn’t gone away.”

     “They have been house cleaning all day,” Pearl wrote later. “I have been alone for hours. Some of them may have come out and stayed with me some. How well I remember that day my dress and all — it was a white dress. I thought I looked good or rather pretty in it. I can now imagine how funny I looked in that rig. Ha. Ha. We were eating supper and all of a sudden he appeared on the scene. It gave me such a shock I couldn’t eat any more supper for I didn’t know he was in 200 miles of here. Well, the whole reaon I didn’t eat any more, he came right in and seated his self at the end of the table, facing me, and right beside me at that end and began to tell of his travels. When I would look up from my plate he would be looking at me, his laughin eyes fairly dancing with delight. But believe me, he looked sweet in his new out fit. I would describe him here but I dare not for I’m afraid Cora will find and read this for I’ve heard her say if she was to find one’s diary she would read it. She would sure know who I’m writing this nonsense about. If she does bother her little head to read she won’t know any more than if she hadn’t. Hee hee.”

     “There’s going to be a big meeting,” Pearl wrote in September, “so my Nobody heard of it and came back. I’m tickled pink to see him again. We have had lots of company but none I would have rather seen than him. A friend and I were sitting by the window when he passed by. She asked who he was. I smiled and said, ‘The one in a word omitted? Aw, that is name omitted.’ She said, ‘Why, that’s the ugliest boy I ever saw.’ Ha, Ha. I said, ‘I think not. I think he’s the best looking boy round here.’ He has gone back now and my thoughts have gone with him. Oh God, help him. He is in trouble. I hope it won’t be nothing serious. It was just a little word omitted. That is all. Of course, I would rather it had never happened but it has so it doesn’t change my liking for him.”

Mr. Nobody

12 Wednesday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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     The third volume of Pearl’s diary is almost entirely void of dates, although it does appear to reflect chronological writing.

     “This is Spring,” Pearl began. “This is a beautiful place with its birds and flowers. It would be an Ideal home if it wasn’t such an out away place. I like the inhabitants but don’t like the location of the site with all of its beauty. I don’t want to make my home here forever. Every one wants to be so good to us but for all their kindness I don’t like here by no means. I have a few friends but a very few they are. I have one that’s every thing to me. His name, that will never do to tell. Well, his name will be Mr. Nobody here.”

     About that time, Mr. Nobody became ill.

     “Spring yet. Mr. Nobody is quite sick,” she wrote. “I have prayed that he might get well.”

     “We have had company all day and have had a nice time in the afternoon,” Pearl wrote one Sunday. “Mr. Nobody came and he was so weak he could hardly walk.”

     “He is a lot better now,” Pearl wrote in an undated entry. “My, his loss of weight, parched lips and all symptoms of a sick person made a scarecrow of him. He has gone. Wished he had stayed longer. This is the first place he’s gone since he got better. The kid has left and gone some where or other.”

     Whatever illness it was that plagued Pearl’s “crush” proved to be of a lingering nature.

     “He is sick again,” she worredly wrote. “The Lord knows whether he will have strength to get over this.”

     “He’s worse,” she wrote, yet still. “Oh Lord, can’t he never get well? Oh, he is bad — worse, he’s just as bad as can be to live. In fact, there seems to be no better in this life for him.”

     And then, to Pearl’s relief, Mr. Nobody’s condition improved.

     “He is better after all. If he did narrowly escape the clutches of death, he is well and strong again. I’m so thankful that my prayer has been answered.”

     Not long thereafter, Mr. Nobody took off on a road trip, giving Pearl nothing much to write about until his return to Harts.

     “Nobody has come back,” she wrote. “My, oh, he looks like I don’t know what with his hair growed out in his temples. He had some pictures made while some where and brought them and showed them to me. They were the ugliest things I ever seen but I told him they were real nice looking and that they looked just like him and that he couldn’t have had one more like him than those were. Ha.”

     “Well, he is now back for a long stay,” Pearl again wrote at a later date. “I guess this old place won’t be quite so desolate now. Just to get a glimpse of him makes the long summer days seems shorter.”

A Cursed Log

11 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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     “Inez has seen him and has been telling me about him, his sweet talk about a certain girl,” Pearl wrote on Monday. “I couldn’t talk about it to her. I feared she would catch on to my hurt feelings so she rambled right on in her talk but not one word he ever said of me. But Gee, how it does hurt my old heart to know I won’t ever be any thing to any boy unless he should pity me. I guess I’m like a cursed log arousing nothing but pity in the heart of any one — not even the one I love.”

     “Sunday morning church service folks have gathered from all around,” Pearl concluded in an undated entry. “How my heart did yearn for him to come but it seems that he was no where around. But my heart told me he was coming. As always, mother had a good dinner. Just about time dinner was ready… Well, I remember I was sitting near the door when footsteps sounded on the walk. I knew his walk before I seen him. He came in and sat down and talked friendly to every one but me. He asked where Cora was. You don’t know what it is to love some body and you never get a word from them. Well, he didn’t stay.”

Let Me Walk

09 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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     Pearl’s second diary concludes with entries from 1928.

     “I got up this morning with a calm spirit,” Pearl wrote on April 30. “I knew he was coming. He has been gone so long.”

     “My heart. Jesus blessed Jesus, let me get till I can walk for I love and it’s a shame to love and you a cripple,” she next wrote in an undated entry. “It’s dark. I have dreamed of his coming so often I know he will be here soon for I never dream of him till a while before he comes.”

     “Diary dear. It has been some time since I have conveyed you a little secret,” Pearl wrote on Sunday, May 6. “You are my constant and steadfast friend. I think it’s so strange the turns life will take. I have long admired a cute little boy but dared not to speak of it to anyone. He’s so young and funny. I can’t keep from hardly falling in love with him. I have teased Inez and told her how much I cared for him, but she took it all as a joke. I just let her think it a joke but I never meant any thing more in my life than that. Inez was telling me about his girls, when I told her to hush. It made me mad to hear of his love making to other girls but she took that as a huge joke. But it really hurt to hear of those other girls being where I wanted to be. But that can never be. He is lots younger than I to start with, but circumstances is another obstacle. Gee, but he is just the kind of a boy I could love for life if I just had that chance. I wonder if he can feel my presence tonight. Oh Lord, how lonely I am tonight. If he were here I would be satisfied for the time being just to be with him. Gee, wish I knew if he ever thinks of me. I would give most any thing to know if he just gave me one little thought to night.”

Pistols 1

08 Saturday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Culture of Honor

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Harts Creek children, circa 1938

Harts Creek Children, circa 1938

Deep Secrets

08 Saturday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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     “Diary dear, I can tell you many things I can’t no other,” Pearl wrote on October 31. “You keep secrets that no one knows. I’m going to confide in you. I love another. I have said I could no other but one, but I’m not quite sure now. Kindness goes a long way to create love. It’s not good looks. I never knew til now. Oh Lord, what makes me always love some body that don’t love me. But they are so kind I can’t help but love him some but I don’t want to. I never thought of loving him until a certain thing happened. I dreamed so often of him making love to me. Oh Lord, let that love for him cease for I don’t want it ever to be. I want my one I always loved.”

     “This is the last day of our beautiful October weather,” Pearl continued. “Many here to day. October month here me. Oh Lord let us all meet again. Goodby October’s bright blue weather and sad the crimson autumn leaves but sadder that one of her sisters was sick. She was fixing to go and leave me dirty and as always my heart told me Dear was coming and I didn’t want to be so dirty. She quarreled at me for wanting to be cleaned up. I cried till my eyes was all swollen up and red. So you see how it is when you can’t do any thing for yourself. You go blank. Well, after I cried she went and cleaned me up but before I got my slipper on he came. It seems that he is always in a hurry. After he was gone I couldn’t help but think of a song: ‘I grieve that ere I met three, Faith fair would I forget thee. Can river thee? Never! Farewell, farewell forever! We have met, and we have parted yet uttered scarce a word like a guilty thing, Started when thy well-knowing voice I heard,’ Oh, how well those words are formed. I couldn’t have wrote my feelings better if I had tried.”

     “Sunday morning again,” Pearl wrote a little later. “Word came to Mother as I expected but I never seen him — only his well loved voice I heard. He sit down out in the yard and stayed a long time but being an old cripple I couldn’t go out to even get a look at his sweet face. Oh Lord, how I would like to speak his dear name as I can write it but I dare not for none of the folks don’t like him a great deal. So I love him on in secret as I have so long. Dear boy, I love you — love you as I can love no other.”

Fleeting Years

07 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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     The latter portion of Pearl’s second diary closes with a cluster of entries dated from February until June for an unknown year. Thereafter is a smattering of monthly entries.

     “No sadder or lonelier day ever passed over my old head,” Pearl wrote on February 7. “It will long be remembered by me. I never have hardly suffered as I did to day. My very heart was breaking. My yearning for what I knew not.”

     Pearl was obviously inspired to write by some misfortune, although she never specified the source of her troubles.

     “Oh God, what I suffered last night,” she continued the following day. “I cried till I couldn’t cry. No one seemed to notice my sorrow. Physical pain would be better than this some times.”

     Pearl’s happiness was at an all time low.

     “If I could have courage to go through with what I think of doing so often,” she wrote. “It’s a terrible thing to think of doing but I can’t. That would be far better than to suffer for maybe years on this old world of pain and woe. Lord help me to overcome my weakness of courage. Make me, dear Jesus, have something to want to live for. Oh Lord, help me to bear my troubles.”

     It seems, based on the above entry, that Pearl was perhaps contemplating suicide at that point in her life.

     “What a storm is brewing,” she wrote later in February. “The wind is roaring in the trees on top of the hill. The storm is on. The rain is pouring but the tempest out side is not much greater than the tempest in my breast. The storm is over. It is the beginning and ending of everything. Now, if I could only walk, my cup of happiness would be running over.”

     “Oh, the troubled sleep I had last night,” she wrote the following day, on a Wednesday. “The snow is falling so fast and the ground is covered every where. The beautiful snow. This reminded me of a day some years ago, those short fleeing years for me. I was just a kid then and with a kid’s thoughts my future was beautifully paved then but that was short lived.”

     “Today I was sitting alone in the kitchen by the stove with the odor of soup beans going up my nose,” Pearl next wrote in an undated entry. “Mama’s voice floats in on my hearing, singing ‘Shady Grove’ to the baby. Cora is over at Inez’s in bed a groaning with her side. Marg’s wanting a new hat. All of these things is passing through my jumbled up brain. I only wish my good old Friend would come for a talk to me so much. I can’t think.”

Pearl’s Last Request

06 Thursday Dec 2012

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     In August 1925, Pearl’s diary resumed, at first with a small upbeat entry.

     “Pearl and I all alone talking our secrets,” wrote sister-in-law Inez Adkins on the evening of August 3. “Best friends on earth.”

     Following this happy note, Pearl’s writings turned depressingly morbid.

     “My last request,” she wrote on August 14. “I don’t feel that I shall be here so very long at the longest. Friends or relatives, when I die, I want to be buried anywhere where the rest of the family is buried. I want a white casket (a coffin will do). Cover it with white satin if you can’t get white. Any other nice white good will do but I would rather have it satin. I want a white shadow lace dress with a narrow white ribbon — not more than four of them. I want a light blue princess slip. If you can’t get the lace dress, get a georgetta crepe. If you can’t get crepe, get white satin. Put two rows of lace up the front and small bows of ribbon up the front too, or you can have streamers at the neck. Get them as near as you can if you are able to buy them. Buy what I said. Buy as near to it as you can. Comb my hair like I wear it in life. Powder me first a little bit. Remember Pearl.”

     Then came one of the more powerful entries in the entire diary.

     “No, there is not the slightest hope I shall ever be any better than I am now. It is not a pleasant prospect. It is just the thought of it at times that makes me worse. There is days and weeks at a time I don’t want to see any one. My sister tells me it is more my temper than my misfortune that afflicts me and perhaps she is right. I hate people because they expect me to see a blessing direct from God. In fact I am nothing more than a miserable clod on the face of the earth. I wish I could have a house all to myself where I could do as I please. None of them don’t seem to understand me or my way and I need some one to stay with me that could really understand me.”

     “We could live an ideal existence,” Pearl continued, shifting the direction of her thoughts toward the object of her affections. “Nothing would please me better. I am sort of death’s head at home. I’m nothing but an annoyance and a burden to mother. I expect they would be glad if I could make a change like that. I could never be with out you. I don’t know how I ever did get along with out you as long as I did. It seems to me my life must have been cruelly empty. I love you very dearly — you have done more for me than talked with me. I think you have very near saved my soul for I was becoming very hard and bitter when you came. God has surely sent us to each other. You must think that my deformety is all I have to bear.”

     “When God made the cripple he made the mistake of implanting in the poor deformed breast a heart like that which other people have — a heart to love,” Pearl wrote. “Hush, that is something that ought to be buried as deeply from sight as the heart itself. I am a fool to even give it a breath of air to feed upon. Does one think there is no design in that? Do you believe that I shut myself in these four walls because I despise all the world for its strength and beauty? I am not quite as bad as that. Perhaps it is my physical condition that makes me so very weak…; but I can not endure to look upon his face, to hear him speak in his kindly tone to me to know that the only feeling in his soul is pity; and but for that I should be less to him than the very dirt beneath his feet. Oh God! Do you think there is nothing in such suffering as mine? Can you see no further into it than the mere pain that rocks my wretched body? I can tell you it is ghostly. I cannot bear even to look into his face because I know that I shall see there the pitying smile that has grown hideous to me. To know that it can never be different! That I must be like an accursed log until I die, arousing nothing more than pity in the breast of any one. I should at least have the memories of the past — happiness to feed my empty heart. I could look back and say, ‘I was happy then.’ Oh it would be so much! So much! My life.”

Timber

06 Thursday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Timber

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West Virginia timber job, 1890-1915

West Virginia timber job, 1890-1915

So Close

04 Tuesday Dec 2012

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     The second volume of Pearl’s diary is filled with entries that specify a month but not a year. Chronologically, it appears a hopeless case, however there are two main clusters of writing periods, from February to March and from February to June. It’s not clear if these are overlapping time frames or if they refer to spring months for different years.

     The bulk of the material seems to take place in 1925.

     Volume 2 begins on January 30, 1925 when Pearl wrote this: “My heart is just as heavy as on that sad day. I’ve lost almost all interest in life.”

     Her dissatisfaction with life more than likely had something to do with her inability to find a companion, which she blamed on her handicap.

     “Sunday morning dawned cold and blue,” she wrote in February. “I had a feeling he was coming. I had not long to wait for he came real early. To my surprise he came in and set down so near me that I could have kicked him with my foot. He got up for some thing and when he set down again he set down on a bed that my chair was tilted back again. He was so clost that time his knee was against my knee. If he had only knew how I loved him and how his nearness caused my heart to beat wildly, he might not have set so clost to me and caused me to suffer untold misery. He got up to spit and motioned for a girl that was there to get in his place. Of course, I would have much rather for my darling boy to sit there as her but I couldn’t stand it no longer. I was afraid Cora would come in and see my confused look and guess the cause of my blushed face. As I have said she didn’t like him. Probably would talk about him. I would rather for them all to talk about him than her for she can say such hurtful things. No body likes to hear some one they love talked about. I love him and I can’t help it. Oh Lord, grant my earnest prayer. Cause him, oh Lord, to love me as I love him.”

     The mysterious object of Pearl’s affection was clearly the primary motive for her taking up a pencil and recording her thoughts.

     “Sunday morning all gone but just mother, Inez and me,” Pearl wrote in March. “I was primping up a little. I had one shoe on and one off when some one knocked at the door. Inez jumped to open it and who should it be but my sweet dream boy who came in smiling so happily and as always sit down facing me again and what causes him to sit down facing me always so clost too I can’t tell. It all happens just as if I had planned it out with him but a higher power rules our feeling. It must be the Lord’s will. I should love [name omitted] but he never speaks to me no more than if I wasn’t in miles of him but I would rather that than pity from my dear for I couldn’t stand it. Well, he didn’t stay long.”

     “News of a joyous nature but not satisfying,” Pearl wrote later in March, “but it will be after while. Every little drought is sweetened by… Aw, I don’t know what.”

     “Diary dear, you are the only thing I can tell my days and sorrows to,” Pearl wrote even later in March, “but it has been some time since I have told you any thing much of interest.”

     In the subsequent months of early summer, Pearl took a break from her diary-keeping, preferring instead to scribble down various items of interest.

     “The happier persons are those who don’t have much sense and don’t seem to know it,” Pearl wrote.

     Poems followed.

     “If to me your heart is true, send me back my bow of blue. If of me you sometimes think, send me back my bow of pink. If for me your love is dead, send me back my bow of red. If you do not wish me back, then send this bow of black.”

Dinner

03 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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Appalachia, Harts Creek, history, inspiration, life, love, Pearl Adkins, thoughts, U.S. South, West Virginia, writers, writing

     “I got up with a bad tooth ache,” Pearl wrote in August or September, probably in 1924. “Mother got a good dinner and I could feel that he was coming but you see I couldn’t tell. They were all gone but Inez and Watson for Watson is married now. Inez and I are very good chums but I can’t tell her this secret of him, for she don’t like him to very well no how. If she was to know I’m in love with him, she would get real angry and maybe tell Cora and mother. Cora just hates him and she would say things that hurt my very heart, so I had better keep it a secret from all. Mother wouldn’t say any thing but I would feel so ashamed to be where he is at if she knew I love him. Such a thing never entered her mind that I might love some body. If she ever thought of such a thing she never said any thing about it. To go back to my story. As I said, Mother had a good dinner but he never came till evening but he did look good in his blue suit but he never stayed long to my sorrow. Oh my tooth did hurt and so did my heart.”

     “Me and Inez have kept house,” Pearl wrote early in November. “They all have been gone all day but the children. I have a tooth ache again. My jaw is all swollen up. Oh Lord, my tooth and jaw. Won’t I be pretty when he comes for I feel he is coming. I do hate to look like this for he won’t think I’m pretty I know — but I do love him so much.”

     “He came last night and stayed all night,” Pearl wrote the following day. “It was after supper. We were all sitting around the fire. I was sitting on the bed. He came in and set down beside me just as if he knew I wanted him to. Of course I wanted him to but I blushed to the roots of my hair to have him so near me. None of them ever dreamed I loved him and I don’t guess he did either. I guess God led him to come and to sit down beside me for God alone knew how much I loved him.”

     “Thank God my prayer has been answered,” Pearl wrote on Tuesday, November 11. “I see him now coming. Oh Lord, just a glimpse that was all. My sorrow is too deep for me ever to tell. I have loved you dear so long that you shall never know it by me telling it. The wound you have caused on my heart is always about to heal, but if I live and get till I can’t walk I’ll get even with you.”

     “All is over and for ever,” Pearl wrote on Wednesday. “Prayers are answered to some extent,” she wrote the following day. “Friday evening is the same.”

     “It is a rainy and dreary day,” Pearl wrote on Saturday morning, November 15. “Oh, how heavy the fog is hanging over the field but it isn’t as heavy as my heart.”

     “He was passing by and Cora ran to the door and invited him in,” Pearl wrote in December. “She didn’t know how much it pleased me for her to ask him in for I couldn’t do it myself. It seemed that she should like every one but the one I loved. Well, I hope she will like him better in the future for I hate to love some one they all hate but that’s what I’ve done but I can’t help it. I loved him before I knew it. We don’t love or hate as we will but we love as divine power makes us love.”

Parkersburg Landing

02 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Ed Haley

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Appalachia, Ashland, Ed Haley, fiddler, history, John Hartford, Kentucky, Lawrence Haley, music, photos, U.S. South, writers, writing

Lawrence Haley, 1991

Lawrence Haley, 1991

Alone

02 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Pearl Adkins Diary

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Appalachia, Harts Creek, history, inspiration, life, love, Pearl Adkins, thoughts, U.S. South, West Virginia, writers, writing

     The latter part of Pearl’s first diary is filled with vaguely dated entries spanning from January until July, probably for the year of 1924. Early entries for her second diary seem to fill the summer and fall months of that same time period. Subsequent entries, dated in November and recorded in the first diary, are clearly for 1924.

     “Oh dear, it seems that my dreams are coming true,” she wrote one Sunday morning in January. “Aw, how my heart beats with joy to look from my window and see the one I love with all my heart coming after what had happened. Oh, the day is fleeting. Now, it’s gone and he has gone with it. My heart is gone, too.”

     “He’s here again,” Pearl wrote on a Saturday and Sunday in March. “It makes my lonely life a few sparks brighter to have him near me if I can’t be nothing more to him.”

     “April is here with its birds and its flowers but they don’t make my burdens any lighter,” she wrote the following month. “If any thing, a little heavy to bear.”

     “It is raining this morning,” Pearl wrote on a Sunday in May, “making the day dark and dreary for me. I guess my heart is just as heavy as the rainy air. I am alone and thinking of the one that’s dearer to me than my own life.”

     “Shadows of the night is gathering dear,” Adkins wrote on a July Saturday. “Alone am I thinking of you. My love will never die for you. It’s all true that I love you. You are my sole thought. If something awful happens I will love you still more fondly for my heart yearns for your presence now while the darkness is gathering fast just as my thoughts are still forming my love still deeper for you. Aw, it’s raining. That don’t make me love you any less for I have loved you for months — might have slipped into years. I’m not saying how many years it has been. I think my love is of too long a standing for me ever to forget now. I’ve tried to but all in vain.”

     “Things are just the same as ever,” Adkins wrote later in July. “God grant my prayer that I may see him, my darling, in my sweet dreams. Aw, but he’s nothing more to me than a dream. How my heart yearns for just one look on his handsome face and to hear his sweet voice. I barely see these lines for tears is gathering so fast. Just ready to fall any minute. Jesus, blessed Jesus, stand by me now. Make him love me, oh Lord. Aw, it’s all sad, and the saddest of it all is what it might have been if I only could have walked. Oh God, grant that I may enjoy the pleasures of life that the other girls enjoy. My life has been only one long dark empty dream. Oh, Lord, will my life always be like this? If I could only have died when but a baby. Now, if I had some one to talk to but like always I’m alone. No one cares for me. No one but mother. The rest seeks each others’ company and leaves me alone. Oh God, help me to bear it all. My heart is almost breaking now. Aw, I can’t write any more for my tears are falling on my paper, Shucks, this is all nonsense but I can’t help it.”

     Later in the summer, Inez Adkins, a friend and sister-in-law to Pearl, made a couple of entries.

     “This sad and lonesome evening finds us alone and together thinking of the past,” wrote Inez on Friday, July 11, 1924, “and God bless Margret, Edward and Wetzel at our feet playing.”

What happened to John Fleming? 3

02 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Big Harts Creek

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Appalachia, crime, feud, Harts Creek, history, Jacob D Smith, John Fleming, Lincoln County, Virginia, West Virginia, Wise, writers, writing

On February 28, 1912, I.J. Beverly, sheriff of Wise County, Virginia, wrote Jacob D. Smith, assistant prosecuting attorney in Lincoln County, West Virginia, to inform him that John Fleming — a fugitive on the run — was living in a nearby town called Glamorgan and using the alias of George Fleming. The letter read as follows:

Wise, Va., March 7th

           Prosecuting Attorney Lincoln county, Hamlin, W.Va.

           Have John Fleming in custody. He agrees to come without requisition if I will bring him but refuses to go with your officer. I will bring him if you will pay all expenses and Two Fifty per day. Answer.

            I.J. Beverly

            Sheriff Wise County

On March 8, Smith received Sheriff Beverly’s letter. Three days later, he left Hamlin, seat of government for Lincoln County, for Richmond, Virginia as an agent to secure requisition papers from Virginia Governor W.H. Mann. A little later, he hired G.A. Lenz, a C&O special agent in Huntington, West Virginia, to accompany him to Wise County as a guard. By March 16, Smith and Lenz had delivered Fleming to the Lincoln County jail. On March 30, Fleming’s bail was set at $2,000.

Early in May, the following witnesses were called to appear before the Circuit Court in the State v. John Fleming, scheduled for June 4: Caleb D. Headley, Lewis Cass Gartin, Andrew Sias, Paris Brumfield, Tilden Gartin, W.A. Adkins, M.E. Nelson, Joe Gartin, Tilman Adkins, John Gartin, Grover Gartin, E.C. Lucas (Sr.), Jeff Lucas, Alvin Sias, Harrison Neace, Bob Fleming, Bud Workman, Jessie Adkins, Lewis Lucas, Ben Noe, Levi Rakes, Flora Lucas, Thomas Sias, Samp Davis, Lona Neace, Albert Neace, George Fleming, Robert Adkins, T.B. Hatfield, Peter Mullins, Ike Fry, William Adkins, Floyd Mullins, Harlan Mullins, Mary Burns, Lula Burns, Jane Moore, Zack Neace, Bill Neace, Abe Noe, Floyd Workman, Wiley Lucas, Dr. Jenks Adkins and Little Cane Lucas.

Days later, John Fleming escaped from the county jail using tools given to him by his brother, Willard. A warrant was issued for the arrest of Willard and placed in the hands of Boyd S. Hicks. According to records maintained at the Lincoln County Circuit Clerk’s Office: “Whereas Burnie Smith has this the 4 day of June 1912 made complaint upon oath before M.D. Hilbert, Justice of said county that one John Fleming was confined in the Lincoln county Jail, being so confined to answer to a charge of shooting with the attempt to kill Caleb Headley, and while in said Jail as a prisoner awaiting trial on said charge, one Willard Fleming did on or about the 10 day of May 1912 willfully and feloniously give and cause to be given the said John Fleming prisoner as aforesaid certain saws, chisels, and other implements for use of said John Fleming in effecting escape from said Jail, and by means of which said saws and other implements he the said John Fleming did saw the bars in said Jail and make his escape there from.” On June 5, Willard Fleming, Matthew C. Farley, Lewis Maynard and Zac Williamson posted Fleming’s $1000 bond.

In an effort to re-arrest Fleming, the Lincoln County Circuit Court issued capias warrants for him on October 29, 1913, December 21, 1914 and March 29, 1915. Fleming was no where to be found.

With John out of the way, his former wife, Lizzie Fry, felt safe enough to remarry. On November 8, 1915, she married Boss Keith. It’s not clear if she had ever married Charley McCoy, the man whose cuckling of Fleming had prompted the ’09 shootout.

In the years following Fleming’s escape, surprising details surfaced about his role in the shootout at Fourteen. “The Fryes and Headleys were blamed for Grandpa Hariff’s death,” said one local man in a 2003 interview, “but an old Frye woman sent word on her deathbed who killed him. She said it was his first cousin, John Fleming.”

Meanwhile, the court continued to issue capias warrants for Fleming on November 14, 1916, February 16, 1917, April 11, 1919, April 5, 1921, April 19, 1922 and December 29, 1922.

Finally, on March 26, 1923, according to Law Order Book 17 at the Lincoln County Courthouse, prosecuting attorney Jacob D. Smith, “with the assent of the court says that he will not further prosecute the defendant John Flemmings, of the Felony of which he now stands charged in this Court. It is therefore considered by the court that the defendant John Flemmings be acquitted, discharged and go thereof without delay.”

By that time, Fleming was probably dead.

“John Fleming went back to Virginia with someone,” said Willard Frye, a nephew to Lizzie, in a 2003 interview. “He got off his horse at a stream to get a drink of water and when he bent down at the stream this man shot him in the back of the head.”

In Search of Ed Haley 14

02 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Ed Haley

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2144 Greenup Avenue, Appalachia, Ashland, Ashland Cemetery, Bake Lee, Bill Bowler, Charlie Ferguson, Ed Haley, Ella Haley, fiddle, fiddler, fiddling, Freeman's Shoe Store, Ghost Riders in the Sky, guitar, history, Imogene Haley, Ironton, John Hartford, Kentucky, Lawrence Colliver, Lawrence Haley, Lazear Funeral Home, Logan County, Milt Haley, music, Noah Haley, Ohio, Over the Waves, Pat Haley, Patsy Haley, radio, Steve Haley, The Shadow, U.S. South, West Virginia, Winchester Avenue, writers, writing

I asked about Ed during that time period. Lawrence said he stayed in a little room just back of the kitchen, which was furnished with a chair, cot, wardrobe and small radio. His fiddle was always on top of the wardrobe, although he seldom played it.

“He listened to the radio quite a bit,” Lawrence said. “You surely have heard of Vaughn Monroe, his version of ‘Ghost Riders in the Sky’. Pop had a transistor radio he carried up to his ear. ‘Goddamn,’ he’d let out, ‘That’s some tune.’ Cause he felt hell was a place where you had to do something you done all your life. I never heard him try to play it but he’d listen to it and listen to it. He’d say, ‘That’s some hell, ain’t it?'”

Pat said, “Pop would shiver when he would hear ‘Ghost Riders in the Sky’. Pop heard it once or twice on that little radio he carried, and he kept his ear right to it.”

I found it strangely odd that Haley had such a high opinion of the tune — maybe he just liked the words.

The cowpokes loped on past him and he heard one call his name,

If you want to save your soul from hell a-riding on our range,

Then, cowboy, change your ways today, or with us you will ride,

A-trying to catch the devil’s herd across these endless skies.

Yippee-yi-ya, yippee-yi-yo, ghost riders in the sky.

Lawrence said Ed eventually gave up on music broadcast over the radio and started tuning in to programs like “The Shadow.”

“We had a great old big crank-up record player and we had a great old big stack of thick RCA records a quarter of an inch thick, I guess,” he said. “They played a lot of them. I guess they learned some pieces of music off of that. ‘Over the Waves’, I guess that’s been around for a hundred years. Pop was pretty good at those slow pieces, too.”

Pat said she never had a real conversation with Ed, so I guess he kind of kept to himself. She remembered him having a white, foot-long beard, which he was very proud of and combed out every day. She said she had a picture of him with Lawrence and Ella in the back yard at 2144 Greenup but couldn’t find it. It was taken in the fall of 1950, when Lawrence was called back into the service.

Around that time, Bill Bowler, a blind guitar player in town, came and asked Ed to play a gig for the grand opening of Freeman’s Shoe Store in Ironton, Ohio. It was kind of a big deal — there was some type of parade going on. Pat said, “We were so happy somebody had finally got him out because he just all of a sudden stopped playing.” Lawrence drove the two over in his brother Noah’s car, then came home. Pat said, “Larry had hardly got back and was telling his mother, ‘Yes, he sat Pop down with Bill Bowler,’ and the next thing we knew Pop came through the front door just cursing a blue streak.” Something had really upset Ed at the shoe store, but the family never did know what happened or how he made it home. Lawrence said, “He just saw that they wasn’t nothing over there for him. He didn’t tell me that I done wrong by taking him over there or anything. He just wasn’t happy, so he didn’t stay.”

Not long afterwards, Lawrence saw his dad play for the last time at Charlie Ferguson’s. He said Noah got him so drunk that he sat down on the floor and played until he fell over. I wanted Lawrence to show me how Ed was playing at Ferguson’s, which he did after joking, “Now John, I don’t want you to involve me in what my dad did.” As he sat there in the floor with my fiddle, Pat laughed and said, “Oh boy, this was a good idea.”

Pat told me about February 3, 1951, the snowy day Ed passed away at home.

“It was very, very cold. My son Stephen was born January 27th, and it was exactly a week later. Pop was in the front room listening to the radio and he came through our bedroom around three o’clock. He had my daughter Beverly on his shoulders and he took her off and he rubbed his head in her tummy and he said, ‘Mmm, you smell so good. You don’t smell like those pissy-ass babies out in the country.’ The children in the country apparently didn’t wear diapers a lot of times and we always kept rubber pants on Beverly and of course the baby powder. After my father-in-law had played with my little girl, he went through and asked my sister-in-law, ‘Patsy, when will supper be ready?’ She was fixing dinner and she said, ‘Aw shortly, Pop.’ And he said, ‘Well I’m going to take a nap.’ He had a room in the back of the house. And we had a nephew Ralph Mullins living with us. He was born in 1946, so he was about five years old. And he took little cars and he was running them up and down while Poppy was napping.”

Pat said, “And when Patsy got dinner ready, she called for Pop to come to the table. My mother-in-law got a little bit irritated because Pop didn’t come. Larry and his brother Jack had been working on a car outside and they went in to check Pop.” Lawrence said, “Mom went in and lifted up his hand and said, ‘Ed.’ Shook his hand, you know. She said, ‘I can’t get him awake. I know he’s alive. I can hear him breathe.’ Well, when she was lifting up his hand, you know, she was pumping out his last breath of air.” Pat said, “And the boys told their mother then that Pop was dead. But the whole time Ralphy had been playing with his cars, so Pop apparently did not cry out in pain. That was it. He just passed away. It was a massive coronary that took him.”

“Pop died just as peaceful a death as could be, I reckon,” Lawrence said. “He died in his sleep.”

When the Ashland newspaper ran Ed’s obituary on Sunday, February 4, 1951, it mistakenly referred to him as the “flower huckster” of Winchester Avenue. Much to the embarrassment of the family, the newspaper had confused Ed with Bake Lee, a blind man in the area who sold pencils and flowers on sidewalks. Bake usually worked the streets with his wife, Lula Lee, an old schoolmate of Ella’s who played the mandolin and French harp.

“Mr. Haley, who had been blind for 65 years, was a familiar figure on Ashland’s streets, having sold flowers in the 1400 block on Winchester Avenue for several years,” the paper partially read. “A resident of Ashland for 35 years, he was born in Logan County, W.Va., a son of Milton and Emma Mullins Haley.”

Lawrence showed me a copy of his father’s corrected obituary: “HALEY: Funeral services for James Edward Haley, 67, retired musician, who died Saturday at his home, 2144 Greenup Avenue, will be conducted at 2 p.m. tomorrow at the Lazear Funeral Home with the Rev. Lawrence Colliver officiating. Burial will be in AshlandCemetery. The body is at the funeral home.”

No one played the fiddle at Ed’s funeral.

“Had a little organ music,” Lawrence said. “I don’t reckon they was anybody he’d care for playing at his funeral.”

Pat said she heard that Ed didn’t look “natural” because the funeral home had shaved off his white beard. Ella had his favorite flower, morning glory, carved on his tombstone.

Parkersburg Landing

02 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Brandon Ray Kirk in Ed Haley

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Appalachia, blind, culture, Ed Haley, Ella Haley, fiddler, history, John Hartford, Kentucky, music, photos, U.S. South, writers, writing

Ed Haley and family, circa 1927

Ed Haley and family, circa 1927

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Feud Poll 1

If you had lived in the Harts Creek community during the 1880s, to which faction of feudists might you have given your loyalty?

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Do you think Milt Haley and Green McCoy committed the ambush on Al and Hollene Brumfield in 1889?

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Who do you think organized the ambush of Al and Hollene Brumfield in 1889?

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Blogs I Follow

  • OtterTales
  • Our Appalachia: A Blog Created by Students of Brandon Kirk
  • Piedmont Trails
  • Truman Capote
  • Appalachian Diaspora

BLOOD IN WEST VIRGINIA is now available for order at Amazon!

Blog at WordPress.com.

OtterTales

Writings from my travels and experiences. High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water. Mark Twain

Our Appalachia: A Blog Created by Students of Brandon Kirk

This site is dedicated to the collection, preservation, and promotion of history and culture in Appalachia.

Piedmont Trails

Genealogy and History in North Carolina and Beyond

Truman Capote

A site about one of the most beautiful, interesting, tallented, outrageous and colorful personalities of the 20th Century

Appalachian Diaspora

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